Season 1 (2003)
Pilot
Pilot
Big Flappy Bastards
Big Flappy Bastards
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
Phase One, Complete
Phase One, Complete
Merry Thanksgiving
Merry Thanksgiving
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Camel Filters and Pheromones
Camel Filters and Pheromones
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Sarah Like Puny Alan
I Can't Afford Hyenas
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
That Was Saliva, Alan
That Was Saliva, Alan
Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats
Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats
An Old Flame With a New Wick
An Old Flame With a New Wick
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
No Sniffing, No Wowing
No Sniffing, No Wowing
My Doctor has a Cow Puppet
My Doctor has a Cow Puppet
Just Like Buffalo
Just Like Buffalo
Playing..
Can You Feel My Finger?
Can You Feel My Finger?
Season 2 (2004)
Back Off, Mary Poppins
Back Off, Mary Poppins
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
A Bag Full of Jawea
A Bag Full of Jawea
Go Get Mommy's Bra
Go Get Mommy's Bra
Bad News from the Clinic?
Bad News from the Clinic?
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Yes, Monsignor
Yes, Monsignor
The Salmon Under My Sweater
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
A Lungful of Alan
A Lungful of Alan
Zejdź z Moich Włosów (Get Off My Hair)
Zejdź z Moich Włosów (Get Off My Hair)
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
It Was Mame, Mom
It Was Mame, Mom
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Does This Smell Funny to You?
Does This Smell Funny to You?
Season 3 (2005)
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Madame and Her Special friend
Madame and Her Special friend
Something Salted and Twisted
Something Salted and Twisted
Santa's Village of the Damned
Santa's Village of the Damned
That Special Tug
That Special Tug
Humiliation is a Visual Medium
Humiliation is a Visual Medium
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
My Tongue is Meat
My Tongue is Meat
Ergo, The Booty Call
Ergo, The Booty Call
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Golly Moses, She's A Muffin
Golly Moses, She's A Muffin
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
And the Plot Moistens
And the Plot Moistens
Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Arguments for the Quickie
Arguments for the Quickie
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 4 (2006)
Working for Caligula
Working for Caligula
Who's Vod Kanockers?
Who's Vod Kanockers?
The Sea is a Harsh Mistress
The Sea is a Harsh Mistress
A Pot Smoking Monkey
A Pot Smoking Monkey
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Apologies for the Frivolity
Apologies for the Frivolity
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Release the Dogs
Release the Dogs
Corey's Been Dead For an Hour
Corey's Been Dead For an Hour
Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Walnuts and Demerol
Walnuts and Demerol
Castrating Sheep in Montana
Castrating Sheep in Montana
Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Don't Worry, Speed Racer
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
My Damn Stalker
My Damn Stalker
Young People Have Phlegm Too
Young People Have Phlegm Too
I Merely Slept With a Commie
I Merely Slept With a Commie
It Never Rains in Hooterville
It Never Rains in Hooterville
Smooth as a Ken Doll
Smooth as a Ken Doll
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
Prostitutes and Gelato
Prostitutes and Gelato
Season 5 (2007)
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Media Room Slash Dungeon
Media Room Slash Dungeon
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
City of Great Racks
City of Great Racks
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Our Leather Gear is in the Guest Room
Our Leather Gear is in the Guest Room
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Kinda Like Necrophilia
Kinda Like Necrophilia
Meander to Your Dander
Meander to Your Dander
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
The Soil is Moist
The Soil is Moist
Winky-Dink Time
Winky-Dink Time
Rough Night in Hump Junction
Rough Night in Hump Junction
Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Fish in a Drawer
Fish in a Drawer
If My Hole Could Talk
If My Hole Could Talk
Waiting for the Right Snapper
Waiting for the Right Snapper
Season 6 (2008)
Taterhead is Our Love Child
Taterhead is Our Love Child
Pie Hole, Herb
Pie Hole, Herb
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
The Flavin' and the Mavin'
The Flavin' and the Mavin'
A Jock Strap in Hell
A Jock Strap in Hell
It's Always Nazi Week
It's Always Nazi Week
Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Pinocchio's Mouth
Pinocchio's Mouth
The Mooch At The Boo
The Mooch At The Boo
He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
The Devil's Lube
The Devil's Lube
Thank God for Scoliosis
Thank God for Scoliosis
I Think You Offended Don
I Think You Offended Don
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
I'd Like to Start With the Cat
I'd Like to Start With the Cat
She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime
She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime
The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'?
The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'?
My Son's Enormous Head
My Son's Enormous Head
The Two Finger Rule
The Two Finger Rule
Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
Above Exalted Cyclops
Above Exalted Cyclops
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
Baseball with Better Steroids
Baseball with Better Steroids
Season 7 (2009)
818-jklpuzo
818-jklpuzo
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
For the Sake of the Child
For the Sake of the Child
Give Me Your Thumb
Give Me Your Thumb
Untainted by Filth
Untainted by Filth
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
That's Why They Call It Ball Room
That's Why They Call It Ball Room
Warning, It's Dirty
Warning, It's Dirty
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Yay, No Polyps!
Yay, No Polyps!
Crude and Uncalled For (1)
Crude and Uncalled For (1)
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)
Tinkle Like a Princess
Tinkle Like a Princess
I Found Your Moustache
I Found Your Moustache
Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
I Called Him Magoo
I Called Him Magoo
Gumby with a Pokey
Gumby with a Pokey
This is Not Gonna End Well
This is Not Gonna End Well
Season 8 (2010)
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Springtime on a Stick
Springtime on a Stick
A Good Time In Central Africa
A Good Time In Central Africa
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Dead From the Waist Down
Dead From the Waist Down
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
That Darn Priest
That Darn Priest
Season 9 (2011)
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
People Who Love Peepholes
People Who Love Peepholes
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Nine Magic Fingers
Nine Magic Fingers
A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
The Squat and The Hover
The Squat and The Hover
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Thank You For The Intercourse
Thank You For The Intercourse
Frodo's Headshots
Frodo's Headshots
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
What a Lovely Landing Strip
What a Lovely Landing Strip
One False Move, Zimbabwe!
One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
A Possum on Chemo
A Possum on Chemo
The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Not In My Mouth
Not In My Mouth
The War Against Gingivitis
The War Against Gingivitis
Palmdale, Ech
Palmdale, Ech
Grandma's Pie
Grandma's Pie
Mr. Hose Says Yes
Mr. Hose Says Yes
Why We Gave Up Women
Why We Gave Up Women
The Straw In My Donut Hole
The Straw In My Donut Hole
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Season 10 (2012)
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
A Big Bag of Dog
A Big Bag of Dog
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For
You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For
That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam
That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam
Ferrets, Attack!
Ferrets, Attack!
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Something My Gynecologist Said
Something My Gynecologist Said
I Scream When I Pee
I Scream When I Pee
One Nut Johnson
One Nut Johnson
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Welcome to Alancrest
Welcome to Alancrest
Grab A Feather And Get In Line
Grab A Feather And Get In Line
Run Steven Staven! Run!
Run Steven Staven! Run!
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
The 9:04 From Pemberton
The 9:04 From Pemberton
Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Another Night With Neil Diamond
Another Night With Neil Diamond
My Bodacious Vidalia
My Bodacious Vidalia
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Season 11 (2013)
Nangnangnangnang
Nangnangnangnang
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
This Unblessed Biscuit
This Unblessed Biscuit
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
On vodka, on soda, on blender, on Mixer!
On vodka, on soda, on blender, on Mixer!
Tazed In The Lady Nuts
Tazed In The Lady Nuts
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Bite Me, Supreme Court
Bite Me, Supreme Court
Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe
Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe
Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Welcome Home, Jake
Welcome Home, Jake
West Side Story
West Side Story
Daddy's Got a Healthy Flavor Stick
Daddy's Got a Healthy Flavor Stick
Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
Season 12 (2014)
A Chic Bar in Ibiza
A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Glamping in a Yurt
Glamping in a Yurt
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Alan Shot a Little Girl
Alan Shot a Little Girl
Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
Here I Come, Pants!
Here I Come, Pants!
For Whom the Booty Calls
For Whom the Booty Calls
A Beer Battered Rip-Off
A Beer Battered Rip-Off
Boompa Loved His Hookers
Boompa Loved His Hookers
Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
Of Course He's Dead (1)
Of Course He's Dead (1)
Of Course He's Dead (2)
Of Course He's Dead (2)
Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Genre: Comedy

Actor: Jon Cryer , Conchata Ferrell , Ashton Kutcher , Amber Tamblyn

Director:

Writer:

Country: United States of America

Release: 2003-09-21

Duration:

Quality: HD

Rating: 0

7.2

Rating(1)